Renting a House in Thailand. Location is everything!

This page takes a look at choosing the right location, what are the typical setup costs of moving in, and the importance of getting to know your landlord or landlady. Oh, and let's not forget those security issues!

LOCATION IS EVERYTHING. WHEN RENTING A HOUSE IN THAILAND, MAKE SURE YOU DON'T MOVE IN TO THAT BAD BANGKOK NEIGHBORHOOD!

A house in the middle of nowhere, stuck down some deep leafy soi, might sound idyllic, but the novelty will soon wear off if it means you are literally stranded. I live in a very isolated section of the housing estate, so isolated that Pizza Hut now refuse to deliver to me because the delivery boy can never find me. If you’re thinking of teaching from home, is it going to be the same for potential students? Anyway, how easy or difficult is it going to be to get to civilization (the shopping malls and the movie theatres)? In my case, I can take a three-baht open-jeep that plies the smaller sois and sub-sois every five minutes. Metered taxis are virtually non-existent. What are your options going to be?

If you are not the kind of person to make use of your kitchen and cook at home, then where are you going to eat? Are there restaurants or food-stalls within easy walking distance? I thoroughly recommend that you invest in a cooker or microwave of some description and put your culinary skills to the test, but there are times when you just can’t be bothered and need the easy option.

What about a convenience store when you suddenly run out of the essentials? Is there a ruddy-faced woman nearby who stays open late when you desperately need twenty Marlboro and a small box of washing powder? And then there are clothes to be washed. Is there a laundry within easy reach, or at least a kindly neighbor willing to do your smalls for a bit of extra pocket money?

I guess I have it quite easy – my laundry woman is a minute’s walk away, the convenience store is virtually next door and I’ve got several restaurants all in walking distance. Many times, I’ve considered investing in a cheap mountain-bike to zip around on, and you might like to give it some thought. I’ll be covering soi-dogs a little later, but it might be fun to ride your bike and wield a long garden cane like some modern day Sir Lancelot, running the soi dogs through as you pedal frantically towards the corner shop for a bottle of milk.

Initial Set-up Costs

Most houses for rent come completely unfurnished. The owner might throw in a piss-stained plastic sofa and a coffee table with more rings than a Bond Street jeweler, but by and large you’ll be responsible for turning a house into a home. Don’t cut corners! Buy the best of what you can afford and it’ll last a life-time. Wonky chipboard furniture will collapse in a sad heap after barely twelve months and it looks crap anyway.

Sorry to keep harping on about personal experience, but I’ve been there and done it. When I moved in, I decided to turn one bedroom into a study/classroom, and keep one bedroom as the main bedroom. I spent money on the lounge and kitchen areas, but the bathroom was already in pretty good nick. The major expenses were TV (7,000), Fridge (7,000) Wardrobe (8,000), Bed and mattress (12,000) sofas and easy chairs (20,000) Tables and bookcases/display units (12,000) and things like plants and stand-up fans, whilst not costing the earth individually, soon add up. I think you’re looking at 80-100,000 as a basic set-up cost for an unfurnished home. It sounds a lot of money I know, but if it bothers you or you simply don’t have it, then rent an apartment.

Know your Landlord!

Things do go wrong with a house. A tap comes off the wall. A mosquito screen develops a hole. Rainwater leaks in from the roof. An ant’s nest develops in one of the skirting boards - all numerous, niggly problems that can really stress you out if you let them. Make sure you know exactly who is responsible for putting these things right and more importantly, if it is your landlord, then is he/she accessible? Picture the scene – you’re late for work on a Monday morning and suddenly realize that there’s no water. Then it dawns on you that the landlord lives in Ayutthaya and it’s going to take him at least three hours to get his shit together and get to you.

My landlord is a tenant’s dream. He’s a retired but very fit handyman who can turn his hand to anything. Whenever I pick up the phone to report a problem (as I have done on numerous occasions), he’s round within ten minutes. I’ve never worked out whether it’s because he genuinely loves to help or whether it’s to escape from his nagging wife. I suspect it’s both, but I’ve been very grateful to him over time and always show my appreciation with a carton of his favorite ciggies two or three times a year. I would hate to have a landlord whose only interest was in collecting the rent once a month but I’m sure they’re out there.

Security – Will the Men in Ski-masks Pay me a Visit?

You hear all kinds of stories from house-renters as regards the number of times they’ve been burgled, but touch wood I’ve never had a problem in five years, and my house is something of a burglar’s dream with an expanse of common land directly opposite and numerous and obvious getaway routes. Although neighbors on a moobarn rarely talk to each other, it’s worth making a good friend of at least one neighbor – a person who can ‘keep an eye’ on the place when you go away, not to mention water the garden and keep your prize begonias in the pink. Almost every moobarn has security posts dotted around in a half-arsed attempt to turn away the undesirable vagabond. The security post near my own house hardly conjures up images of the Mexican border. It’s either completely empty or manned by an old guy who’s far more concerned with tuning in his radio and feeding the soi dogs than he is protecting the residents of the estate.

One of the downsides of living on a moobarn is the amount of junk you get wedged in between your garden gate and stuffed in your letterbox. I’m talking about flyers distributed by Pizza Hut, MK Suki, Big C and any number of other local businesses. Let these leaflets accumulate and it’s like putting up a big sign saying please break in and steal my video recorder.(Continued on page 4 )


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